When Grief Feels Like Cement: Finding Movement When You're Stuck

Grief is a journey, not a destination, they say. And like any journey, there are stretches of open road, winding paths, and sometimes… what feels like thick, unyielding mud. Almost as though you are stuck on a treadmill. You feel as though you are moving and going nowhere. You might find yourself stuck, the weight of your loss pressing down, making it hard to breathe, let alone move forward.

At the bottom of this article, I am posting a link to 11 verses to help you when you feel alone. One of the verses is Isaiah 41:10. And it starts, Fear Not. We should not fear. God is always with us. We are not alone; you’re not alone. Feeling stuck in your grief process is a common and often incredibly frustrating experience.

It can feel like you’re going in circles, or that the intensity of your pain isn’t lessening. But even when it feels impossible, there are gentle ways to find movement again.

Here are a few things you can try when grief feels like cement:

1. Acknowledge the Stuckness Without Judgment: The first step is often the hardest. Recognize that you feel stuck without adding another layer of self-criticism. Sometimes I can be my hardest critic. Thinking, I should have or could have done more. But we are not perfect. We are all just trying to make it. Sometimes we just have to extend some grace to ourselves. Grief is complex, and there’s no "right" way or timeline. Saying to yourself, "I feel really stuck in my grief right now, and that's okay," can be surprisingly freeing. We must give ourselves time to adjust to the major change we face: life without our loved one. Also, grief isn't a linear progression of sadness. You might experience anger, guilt, confusion, or even moments of unexpected joy. Allow these feelings to surface without judgment. Sometimes, the feeling of being "stuck" comes from trying to suppress certain emotions that are a natural part of grief.

2. Tiny Acts of Self-Care: When you're deeply grieving, even basic self-care can feel monumental. Instead of aiming for big changes, focus on the smallest, most manageable acts. Drink a glass of water. Step outside for a few minutes. Listen to one song that brings you a sliver of comfort (even if it makes you cry). I started a playlist as I was dealing with the death of my sister called "Get It Together, Girl." Because I had gotten to the point that I knew I was almost gone. I was using canned whipped cream to try to ease my pain. I was drowning in sorrow, and no one seemed to be able to help. But a trip my husband took me on to San Antonio was a moment of life preservation. I was able to breathe during the drive from Longview to San Antonio. So, there is something to exhaling. Look for and find your moment. These small acts can create tiny pockets of energy and momentum.

3. Reach Out (Even If It Feels Impossible): Isolation can be a significant factor in feeling stuck. While the urge to withdraw is understandable, connecting with others who understand can be a lifeline. This could be a trusted friend, a family member, or a grief support group. Grief is meant to be shared. Others have lost someone who might have a nugget of information that can help you on your journey with grief. Remember, you are not alone. And to those who are in the position to be that someone, you don't have to have all the words; sometimes, just being in the presence of someone who cares can make a difference.

4. Explore Creative Expression: When words fail, other forms of expression can be incredibly helpful. Consider journaling (even just a few sentences), drawing, painting, listening to music, or writing poetry. I am not ashamed to admit it. I am in counseling. I am still trying to work through the grief of my father's death that occurred 16,582 days ago. I still struggle with trying to make him proud. My therapist suggested that I write him a letter or start a journal. But I am not sure if that is the answer. However, a couple of weeks ago, our Women's Ministry had a Paint & Praise gathering. And I want to tell you, I loved it. It was pre-sketched. I am no Picasso!!! lol!!! But it was fun and relaxing. These outlets can provide a way to process your emotions without the pressure of verbalizing them.

6. Seek Professional Support: If you've been feeling persistently stuck for a significant amount of time, or if your grief is significantly impacting your daily life, reaching out to a therapist or grief counselor can provide invaluable support and guidance. Not to toot my own horn or claim that I know everything because I do not. However, I am a certified grief counselor. If you need a listening ear, I can be that for you. Just reach out. But if you need someone immediately or locally, please find someone. There is no shame in that. They can offer tools and strategies to help you navigate your grief journey.

Link to 11 Passages for When You Feel Lonely

https://www.crossway.org/articles/11-passages-to-read-when-you-feel-lonely/?srsltid=AfmBOorK3PBGp8L67OjkMuR5jp1gkrVqN7YsA-gmqnYl69zQxYU3gbrr