Finding Balance in Grief: Cultivating Grace as You Grieve and Heal

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During this time of grief, it is essential to prioritize self-care. Taking care of yourself while grieving is not a selfish act but rather an act of self-compassion and healing. In this article, we will explore the importance of self-care during the grieving process, discuss ways to practice self-compassion and establish a routine that supports your well-being.

Understanding Grief and Self-Care

When you are grieving a loss, it’s easy to forget about looking after yourself. Often, it can feel like your whole world has fallen apart. This can make it seem like there’s little to no point in looking after yourself. This can lead to a deep depression as you leave self-care by the wayside. Therefore, a few things are essential when dealing with grief.  Extend a little bit of kindness, a splash of grace, and a massive dollop of love to yourself as you embark on this healing journey, even though you want to care for others who are hurting. You are hurting, too. So, it is vital to look after yourself. It will always be a long road to recovery if you do not. Do not do the struggle juggle. Cultivate and refine lines to cater to your well-being to find your new normal.

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Practicing Self-Compassion

Show yourself compassion when you have done all that you can and feel there is nothing else. Dia Penning defined what self-compassion is more eloquently. She said, “When we practice self-compassion, challenging emotions or mistakes become opportunities to soften and be vulnerable. Instead of beating ourselves up, we can respond to negative thought patterns with self-kindness and care.”[1] Do not allow yourself to fall into a state of guilt and blame. Be kind to yourself and extend yourself some grace. Trust that your loved one knows that you did everything you could, so allow yourself to grieve the loss.

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Self-Care Activities

Self-care is essential during the grieving process. The grieving process is draining and exhausting. It will take all your energy. In her book Beyond The Darkness, Clarissa Moll discusses how invasive grief can be. She says, “Grief invades every physical space. It’s common after the death of a loved one to experience changes in appetite, sleep, energy, and mental aptitude.”[2] You should keep up your schedule and eat properly. It would be best to have a healthy diet to give your body the fuel it needs. Avoid emotional eating and unhealthy meals. Instead, develop a meal plan to eat three well-balanced meals daily. Also, stay active. It can be tempting to lie in bed all day or avoid the world altogether. However, this is never going to be a healthy choice. When you reach your lowest points, keeping moving and staying active becomes more important. Go for a short or long walk with your favorite playlist in the background as you take in God’s beautiful scenery. As much as possible, you should aim to keep your schedule while you are navigating the grieving process.

Conclusion

Take the time to mourn and work through your grief authentically, allowing yourself to feel conflicting emotions without judgment. It is okay not to have all the answers, cry as much as needed, and take a moment to pause to take care of yourself. However, at the same time, you must make healthy choices to strengthen the whole and complete you, which includes your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. That’s why you must be kind to yourself and recognize that it’s OK to be selfish or not be your best. And remember: the person you’ve lost would want you to be loving to yourself.

[1] Dia Penning, “Compassion vs Self-Compassion: Opening Your Heart to Yourself,” Mindful Schools, accessed November 24, 2023, https://www.mindfulschools.org/personal-practice/compassion-vs-self-compassion/.

[2] Clarissa Moll, Beyond The Darkness (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale Momentum, 2022), 57.