Five Proven Ways to Release the Pain from Grieving

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Grief is messy, overwhelming, and often unexplainable. It can leave you feeling broken and hopeless. However, releasing the pain by acknowledging your feelings and working through them will lead to healing and growth. Clarissa Moll says, “Resilient people face their loss, not avoid it.”[1]   You can do this one step at a time and one day at a time.

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Allow Yourself to Grieve

As you go through the grieving process, it’s perfectly normal to find things hard to deal with. However, when you cannot accept the loss, it makes moving on extremely challenging. In the video below, Suli says that grief is never easy.[2]  As a result, you end up addressing the loss unhealthily. You cannot shortcut the grieving process. So, cry if you must. The tears are nothing but liquid love flowing down the face. This journey must be completed at its own pace because it is personal. So, please do not set your healing process on someone else’s timeline of what they think is an appropriate length of time to grieve. Grief is not a one-size-fits-all. While you can do things to make the journey easier — prayer, meditation, healthy habits — it’ll still take some time, so give yourself the time and space you need to grieve properly.

To truly heal and move forward in life, you need to practice the art of releasing. Release your feelings into the world so you can process grief and move forward. It will also help strengthen you as you build up your coping skills. There are so many ways to do this, but try the following five.

Meditation: Finding Solace and Emotional Healing

Meditation - Meditating is an excellent way to release stress when you are feeling overwhelmed when trying to handle grief and negative emotions. It helps bring an awareness to your feelings and centers you in the moment and life. The top two are mindfulness and spiritual meditation. Studies have shown that meditation can help “encourage prosocial emotions and behaviors, enhance focus and mood, and reduce aggression while encouraging positive coping strategies.”[3] Find a quiet spot to concentrate on yourself. Healthline describes nine types of meditation that can be helpful to decompress and refocus. Here is the link to the article: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/types-of-meditation.

Journaling: Expressing Emotions and Facilitating Healing

Journaling – Get your pen and paper and express yourself! Journaling is a therapeutic and safe outlet to express your feelings. Some journals already have prompts, or you can purchase a blank journal to make it more personal. That way, you can let out the good, the bad, and the ugly as you write what is in your heart and on your mind on paper. You can write anything from “I miss you every day” to “I am so mad at you for leaving me.” There is no judgment in journaling. You are free to write down how you feel and your questions about why this happened. Now, true enough, you might not get the answers to what you asked, but you are also not keeping the tension bottled up. It also provides a record for you to reflect on what worked in the past to help you on rough days.

Speaking with Friends and Seeking Support

Speaking to friends - Reaching out to friends and discussing your grief will make you feel much better. It will allow you to have a sense of connection instead of being in isolation. Talking with friends as you share what you are going through helps you feel heard and validates that what you are experiencing is normal. Releasing your emotions this way stops them from being bottled up and causing internal strife. You never know. There might be a chance that they have experienced a similar situation and can tell you how they made it through the storm. Let your friends and family be there for you to help you through the process. So, tell your friends if you’re upset or angry, walk with them on a nature trail, and use them as a shoulder to cry on. 

Crying: Emotional Release

Let the tears flow! When you are in pain and hurting, such as when you are grieving, crying is one of the most natural things to do. It helps to release the tension. Have you ever wondered why you feel better after a good cry, especially if you fall asleep afterward? It seems like the cry has provided clarity, and cause of that, you have gained a new perspective on your situation. Well, here is why. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain.[4] If you must sneak off to a private spot to cry privately or with people from your inner circle, allow yourself to cry. It will help with the transition from hurting to healing.

Prayer and Spirituality: Finding Comfort through God

Prayer - Prayer changes things. Your talk with God does not have to be formal. It can be a raw, unfiltered, heart-felt communication between you and Him.  Just go to Him and tell Him what is on your mind. It is written, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7, New Living Translation). He is waiting and wants you to release everything into His hands. He loves you so much that He knows how many hairs are on your head and collects your tears. Have faith in God to be your comfort and strength when you are in pain and to give you peace while grieving.

Conclusion –

Moving through grief will not be easier, but it is easier when you stop suppressing emotions and start releasing them. The healing process may be painful but can also be revealing and productive. You will grow and become resilient as you navigate the healing process. These are just some of the ways proven to help with the pain. However, find what works for you.

References: 

[1] Clarissa Moll, Beyond The Darkness (Carol Stream, IL: Momentum, 2022), 101.

[2] Suli Breaks, “Grief is NEVER Easy (Fireworks),” November 24, 2021, YouTube video, 2:25, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLhCZJPZbSk.

[3] Holly J. Bertone, “Which Type of Meditation Is Right for Me?,” Healthline, November 5, 2021, accessed November 21, 2023, https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/types-of-meditation.

[4] Leo Newhouse, “Is Crying Good for You?,” Harvard Health Publishing, March 1, 2021, accessed November 17, 2023, https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-crying-good-for-you.